How the halloumi are you?

As people who are always on the do, stationary life has forced new lows on us and our blog has suffered in the process. We’re convinced there’s nothing to write about and our lives are very boring but real writers would insist there’s always a story to tell or a situation to opine about, you just have to tap into it. If you cannot do that, then rant about the ridiculousness of it all. Either way, write something!

The right now tapping for us is Cooking and Kate, boot golf, Survivor Winners at War and an ongoing WTF over reopening, masks, stocks and real estate, Joe Biden in his basement and Trump revealing that he learned one thing through this pandemic … he was right about everything. Unpack that. We try to solve the world’s problems everyday and little progress is being made.

Cooking Kate is a vegetarian food blogger whose website Cookie+Kate and cookbook, Love real Food is a staple in our RV home. The media coverage of Coronavirus in meatpacking plants gave Sheri the heebies so we’ve now shunned animal protein and gone full-on veggie. This flavor-filled web of delicious and nutritious recipes are expanding our international palate AND using several hours each day on planning and preparation. Microwave popcorn is out. Stove top popcorn with gourmet toppings from kernels hand-pried from the husk are in.

Halloumi is a hard-to-find and expensive high melting point cheese. Skip the frozen breaded mozzarella sticks and run straight to your local Indian/International Market to buy 8oz for $10 then fry it up in some olive oil. Dip in it C+K’s spicy Peruvian Green Sauce or use it as a filling for Taco Tuesday. Either way, it will waste at least an hour in the day and you can tell your friends about your new cheesy discovery. Between shopping, sousing, cooking and assembly, these are damn good 3 hour tacos that take minutes to eat. Viva Cinco de Mayo!

If we’re going to eat well we need activity in our lives and with a broken fibula activity is limited. Dr. C said to wear the boot and do anything that doesn’t hurt or doesn’t put yourself in a position to get hurt. For us that means no biking or hiking, but boot-golf is okay.

Barksdale AFB sports the Bomber Bayou, an 18 hole 5500 yard golf course with a driving range and clubhouse. All have been closed since we’ve been FamCamp residents but a soft reopening started last week with a free-for-all, unless you want a cart, which is $12. It’s one to a cart unless you drive out of sight of the clubhouse and then hop in. I mean, really? When did common sense leave planet Earth? Explaining to the nice clubhouse clerk that you live together in 125 square feet 24/7 will still have you executing the one-of-us-is socially-distanced walking, wink-wink, until the cart is out of sight plan.

Traveling without clubs, we hit the local Goodwill, cause everyone knows if you need a great set of clubs for no money, get them from Goodwill, preferably in Florida. In Louisiana you can shop at Big Lots, Walmart and Dollar Tree all in the same plaza, with or without mask, but you can’t get a GW bargain cause they’re not allowed to open. Bill in Bradenton to the rescue … a set of King Cobras in a featherweight bag with two drivers, two putters and one amazing utility club called the One Shot arrived just in time to save our sanity on the freebie course.

Not wanting to get hurt, Sheri decided she could plant the boot, take a half swing and play the entire course with a 9 iron, making her a one-club-wonder with a putter. The ball goes about 100 yards, down the middle of the fairway every time. It’s working so well we’re considering marketing the boot as an iron-clad way to straighten your field game. She is on the green in 4 on the long Par 4’s. Are you really playing that much better with your enormous bag full of clubs? Unfortunately it doesn’t do a thing for your greens game. Putt putt miss. Two boots? Arm sling? We are brainstorming solutions.

People may not know we are super fans of CBS’s Survivor series, faithful to Wednesdays at 8pm eastern, now 7pm central. This year they introduced in-show currency that players can earn and spend called Fire Tokens. To us, Fire Tokens seem more real than all of the digital dollars being created by the Fed. Can trillions of dollars really just be created out of nothing by some guy that we did not elect? How did we not know that? We are thinking about changing all of our cash into fire tokens. They seem more real.

And then there’s the headlines. Should the country reopen or shouldn’t it? Now that we can give each other haircuts and we’ve decided not to get tattoos, the grooming pressure is off. We just want them to open camping in National and State parks. It makes no sense to us that we can eat meat slaughtered in covid infected butcheries but we can’t sleep in our RV at Big Bend National Park. The Walmart check out line is safe. The forest is not. Once again the power of humankind to rationalize any outcome they desire is shown at work.

And masks. What’s the fuss about people getting crafty in their house making face masks out of t-shirts and rubber bands? It’s fun and all, but so is finger painting and crayons. If we’re the greatest, most industrialized country in the world, why isn’t Walmart handing out a mask to every person who walks through their doors? And what is with the extended cattle corral extending half way down the front of the store to enter? I just have to believe that we are all in the same boat. So many questions. So few answers.

We have always found the civilized world to be slightly nutty when you really stopped to think about it. Well, no need to stop and think about it anymore. The inconsistencies, Cornelian dilemma (would you like me to chop off your hand or your foot?), gross inequalities, leaps of logic, and general weirdness of everyday life have been laid bare by the pandemic. Life will never be the same.