We don’t know about this trip. It might just be one trick too many. We should probably make the most of the Florida shoulder season before the epic summer swelter makes outdoor life oppressive. There’s what we should do and what we actually do and they are often at odds. We are reminded daily of the bold lettered T-shirt we saved from the lost-and-found in the Big Bend shower house. “Comfort Kills,” it reads in bold letters across the chest hanging on the garage wall. It’s so comfortable here in our soft Florida life, that maybe it is killing us.
Maybe a little bit of discomfort is OK? The internet is full of young people living their best lives in pimped out Sprinter vans. #Vanlife is a movement with influencers and Youtube channels whereas #Tentlife is a euphemism for unhoused. Effectively influenced by Vanners, we found the perfect solution right around the corner. It was a 2022 (sold as a 2025) Ford Transit Class B Amazon delivery van converted by the Waldoch Company in Minneapolis into a quasi-luxury camper marked down at a corresponding deep discount. Gerzeny RV was letting it go at 50 cents on the dollar. Admittedly, the list price was totally made up and it was still a whole bunch of (non)cents.
A quick tour revealed a cramped rear bed arrangement. One of us (not it!) would have to crawl over the other to get in and out, but that’s OK, we’re close. We would have to leave our outside screened living room behind because storage is more like what you can fit in an airline carry-on. But, it did have hard sides, climate control, and all you had to do was park it to pitch it. We could off-road onto any basically flat, smooth, hopefully paved, not rocky, not muddy nor sandy secondary road we desired. Fun!? The art supplies would need to be moved from their current two big storage bins into the glove box. This could work! No more sleeping on the ground!
As we were debating the purchase, the Waldoch Coya camper van sold. We found out it un-sold a week later when sales-guy Angelo, who we now hear from everyday, brought us the once-in-a-lifetime good news. Unfortunately for us, we had already made the mental leap to cast off in the packed truck and risk mutiny, or back injury. We did, however, “upgrade” our camp chairs to a couple of hand-me-downs from Goodwill with the fancy ‘folding-side-table’ feature that we had missed when we purchased new Bass Pro shops sling chairs for our last voyage. You’ve heard of ‘girl math,’ and ‘boy math?’ This is Sheric math. We made over a hundred thousand dollars! moving from a van into a couple of second-hand camp chairs. Who needs jobs when making money is this easy?
Talking about our next voyage we were reminded of the grade school rhyme “in 14 hundred 92, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.” Funny how you never hear the rest of the story where Columbus goes on to make three more crossings until he dies. The voyages kept getting less memorable, less successful, and more painful. Finally, on the fourth and final voyage, all his ships sank and his crew mutinied. This is Sheric’s fifth voyage in a tent. We are reminded of that old Mark Twain saying, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes.”
Older, slower, and apparently no wiser, we have loaded the bed of the truck with everything we need to live an uncomfortable life out west. Like Columbus, we actually do not know where we are going beyond a cardinal heading, West. It’s more of a big picture approach. Make-it-up as we go. It depends on the weather, the wild fires, our mental health, whether we hear back from any of the artist-in-resident programs to which we applied, our physical health, and so many other things. All we can say for sure it that we will be starting in Denver, CO to send a couple of Army Sergeants to Vincenza, Italy. Vicenza is a modest car ride from Columbus’s birthplace of Genoa. When they head east to Columbus’s origin, we will head west to sail off the edge of the world. At least that’s what it feels like today.
Our general theme is to explore the pioneering trails of the late 1800’s. Explore the Old Spanish, California and Oregon Trails. Eat trail mix, hike a nature trail, leave a paper trail. Did we mention that we watched too many western-themed series on TV during our 200+ day internet binge? Blame it on the Taylor Sheridan guy who seems to have taken over all of the streaming channels with some version of a Yellowstone-esque drama. For the record, we called Miles City, MT the real deal and Bozeman, MT a victim of Californification in our blog long before Sheridan did. Just sayin’.
As a bon voyage date night, we hit The Ringling Museum in Sarasota for an exhibit on Art, Magic, and Mediums. The OG escape artist, Harry Houdini was on the poster, so we had to go. The exhibition promised that conjuring the Spirit World would provide the answers to our biggest questions. Like Houdini, who actually spent most of his life dis-proving the charlatans and mediums of his day, we also found no answers from the spirits. We were inspired by Houdini, though, who seemed to crave the challenge of a good escape above all else. We can appreciate the art in that.
Along the way we are moving a bunch of reclaimed furniture and Salon de Refuses art up to the High-House in Bethesda because the walls are full in Florida. It will also help us to acclimate to colder temperatures and smaller living quarters. The last time we camped in Denver, it snowed and we lived much of the day in the heated laundromat which was a similar size to the High House. Unlike Florida, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows out there and one has to prepare. We’ve grown soft living south of the frost line where playing pickleball or golf when the temperatures are in the low 60s is considered roughing it. Maybe we should be rethinking that Waldoch? We are still waiting for an answer from the other side.
